Intelligent Monkey GPS
Filed under: Animal Intelligence, Biology, Homo Sapiens Against Animal Intelligence, Science, Science Fiction, The Future
A recent study by researchers based at the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology in Leipzig reveals that monkey’s have an unbelievable internal GPS system that allows them to navigate flawlessly across maze-like jungle paths. Read about the study here, at New Scientist.
As many of you know, we’ve been covering intelligent monkey news at The Loki Times ever since we launched our website. In fact, we kicked off our website with this post about Cyborg Monkeys. The subject fascinates our researchers and writers, but terrifies Jerry Bombadil, founder of the extremist group Homo Sapiens Against Animal Intelligence.
Bombadil fears a Planet of the Apes scenario more than anything. This new data about internal monkey GPS systems has shaked him to the core. The following is Bombadil’s response to inquiries from our news team: “Monkey GPS?!?! That’s just great, freakin’ wonderful. Son of a bitch!” *click*
Jerry later called back to apologize, saying “We were worried about the government being able to track our every move, but now we should worry about these monkeys. They can find you…anywhere.”
Let us know what you think. Monkey GPS: Impressive, or Terrifying?
UFO Sighting Connected To Tropical Bird Sanctuary
Filed under: Alien Intelligence, Alien Invasion, Aliens, Animal Intelligence, Biology, Conspiracies, Nanotechnology, UFO's
A recent UFO sighting caught on tape by the citizens of Brean, UK has experts scratching their heads. The video depicts a metallic, cigar shaped UFO traveling silently at an extremely high altitude. The question everyone is asking: What is this UFO and why is it visiting the quiet coastal village of Brean? We think we have the answer.
Rat, Cat, and Dog Stand United Against Anti-Animal Group HSAAI
Filed under: Animal Intelligence, Animals For Animal Equality, Homo Sapiens Against Animal Intelligence
In a moving demonstration, three members of the group Animals For Animal Equality (A.F.A.E.), protest together on a public street against the radical group Homo Sapiens Against Animal Intelligence (HSAAI). The A.F.A.E. members are a rat, a cat, and a dog. They stand on top of each other to symbolize their support for one another in the face of an organization that wants to see them remain utterly subservient to human will.
A spokes-animal for A.F.A.E. said the three animals decided to protest because of recent comments from HSAAI criticizing the acceptance of animal art in an international exhibit. Read A.F.A.E.’s official response to said comments here.
When asked about his thoughts on HSAAI, the dog simply responded “Grrrrrrr.” The cat said, “Hisssss”. Need they say more?
Stay tuned to The Loki Times as the feud between A.F.A.E. and HSAAI heats up.
Animals For Animal Equality Slams HSAAI On Recent Comments
Filed under: Animal Intelligence, Animals For Animal Equality, Homo Sapiens Against Animal Intelligence, Human Intelligence
The group Animals For Animal Equality released a statement today in response to recent comments made by Homo Sapiens Against Animal Intelligence regarding the artistic capabilities of a horse named Cholla. (read here)
“To suggest animals cannot be artistic is emblematic of HSAAI’s continued ignorance on the subject of animal rights. We’ve got news for Jerry Bombadil and all his cronies: animals are greater artists than us, the human animal. It’s an indisputable fact. Look, for instance, at the intricate webs of spiders. Or listen to the beautiful music of birds. Just because Jerry Bombadil doesn’t possess a single talent or skill doesn’t mean he can piss on those of others. Animals are artists too, and Animals For Animal Equality are proud to support their endeavors. That’s why we are investing in an artistic community for animals. Humans, dogs, elephants, birds, horses, you’re all invited. We will release more information on the project soon.”
HSAAI has not issued a rebuttal, but knowing the organization, we should expect one soon.
Join the A.F.A.E. cause with one of their shirts:
Acceptance Of Animal Art Infuriates Activist Group HSAAI
Filed under: Animal Intelligence, Animals For Animal Equality, Homo Sapiens Against Animal Intelligence, Human Intelligence
The 3rd International Art Prize Arte Laguna held in Mogliano Veneto, Italy has accepted paintings by the animal artist Cholla the horse. Cholla paints of his own volition on a portable canvas. His work is hailed as expressive, beautiful, and intelligent. Cholla’s passion for painting, and the subsequent acceptance of his paintings in the artistic community has sparked the old debate over whether art produced by animals is truly art, or simply novelty.
Jerry Bombadil, spokesman for HSAAI (Homo Sapiens Against Animal Intelligence), is angered by the recent acceptance of Cholla’s art into an international exhibit dominated by human art. Bombadil in a recent statement: “This is a very slippery slope. The more we encourage animals to act and behave like us, and worse yet, the more we accept this behavior, the more we blur the line between us and them. What’s next? A Chihuahua Mozart? We don’t want to empower animals anymore than we already have. At some point, they’re gonna get wise and try and take a bigger slice of the pie, and they’ll take it by force, mark my words.”
Bombadil’s ominous words and extreme stance on the issue come as no surprise, considering his organization’s history.
Join the HSAAI cause with one of their shirts:
