The images are a groundbreaking step forward in our ongoing search for extraterrestrial life.  Dave Standforth of the Lovecraft Institute for Extreme Exploration says the pyramid shape of some of the buildings in the alien city lend credibility to Erich Von Daniken‘s ancient astronaut theory, which believes the Egyptians built the pyramids with the help of alien intelligences.

“This discovery demands the immediate preparation of a manned flight to Saturn’s rings to make contact with these aliens who could have seeded our planet,” says Dave Standforth.  He added, “We haven’t a moment to lose as we approach the year 2012, the year of the proposed Mayan apocalypse.  Our institute is troubled by the sudden appearance of these alien structures. Remember that Von Daniken’s ancient astronaut hypothesis believes the Mayans had contact with aliens as well.  Could this be a sign of the apocalypse?  We don’t know, but we need to ask these aliens.”

What do you think?  Could aliens be living on Saturn’s rings?

Read about the discovery here.

The brief synopsis of the mysterious Tunguska Event is that on June 30, 1908, a massive explosion occured above a remote region of Siberia, leveling over 80 million trees across a hundred square mile area.  The explosion is estimated to have been equivelant to several A-Bombs.  The catalyst for the explosion remains a big unknown.  Read more here.

Dr. Labvin, president of the Tunguska Spatial Phenomenon Foundation, says he has evidence that the explosion was caused by an alien spacecraft colliding with a massive meteor on a collision course with earth.  By exploding the massive meteor before it crashed into our planet, Dr. Labvin says the aliens saved humanity.

Dr. Labvin’s evidence is several quartz slabs discovered at the site of the explosion which are engraved with strange symbols.  According to Dr. Labvin, we do not possess the technology to create the intricate geometric shapes carved on the quartz slabs.  Tests with lasers were unsuccessful at duplicating the designs.  He claims the slabs are debris from the alien spaceship, possibly part of the ship’s navigation controls.

Are these alien navigation controls?

We should all take a moment to think of the brave alien astronauts who saved our planet on that fateful day in 1908.  We don’t know about you, but we feel safer knowing extraterrestrial intelligences are looking out for us.  Read more here.

What do you think?

As we continue to wonder what might cause the 2012 apocalypse infamously predicted by the Mayans, this report has caused a stir because of the following quote from the article in the Times Online: “From 2012, however, PCs and laptops are likely to operate at a much reduced speed, rendering the internet an ‘unreliable toy’”.

Could a frustratingly slow internet cause the infamous 2012 apocalypse?  This is a possibility according to an internet researcher who wishes to remain nameless.  The reseacher said, “We’ve become so dependent on the internet that a reduction in its performance could lead to global chaos.  Banking systems, transportation, utility grids could all come crashing down.  I don’t think it’s unreasonable at all to think the ensuing mayhem could snowball into the end of the world.”

While these points are relevant to this theory, psychologist Dr. Eddie Eddington Jr. says he is more concerned about the psychological damage a slow and evaporating internet would have on the world.

Dr. Eddington said the following when reached for comment: “The instant gratification we’ve become used to with the internet and the immediacy with which we can connect to a world of information has made us extremely ADD.  Take for instance the Twitter phenomena.  Our attention spans and patience are dwindling at exponential rates.  If reports that the internet will start slowing to a sudden halt around 2012 are true, then we could very well see our collective psychology short circuit.  The results of such a short circuit could be widespread insanity, which would snowball into chaos, riots, and general anarchy.  It very well could trigger a sort of ‘social apocalypse’.  Perhaps this is what the Mayans predicted.”

What do you think?  Could a slow internet in 2012 be the spark that lights the fire of an apocalypse?

“These robots are teaching us to let our guard down,” says Dr. Phil Tompkin, a scientist specializing in de-technolozation at the Institute For Simplicity (IFS).  “We cannot allow this to happen.  If we believe robots can be cuddly, emotional creatures, then we’re one step close to putting mankind in a position where these machines can stab us in the back.  Once these AI systems reach a certain level of sophistication, they will lash out against us, their creators.  Mark my word.  We cannot teach our children to be comfortable around mechanical beings!  It’s like teaching a 3-year-old that Scorpions are puppies.”

Whether or not Probo turns against us remains to be seen.  All we know is that an army of Probos sounds like a terrifying thing.  And why is he called Probo?  Does it have something to do with his trunk?  We shudder to consider the possibility.

Learn more about Probo here.

Santino the Chimp

His name is Santino and he lives at the Swedish Furuvik Zoo.  Santino likes throwing things at the zoo visitors that gawk at him everyday, and his keepers do eveything they can to stop the violent behavior.  But recently, the zoo staff discovered stockpiles of ammunition (mostly rocks) all over Santino’s enclosure, as if he were preparing for battle.  The discovery has excited researchers studying animal intelligence since it suggests premeditation and forward thinking on Santino’s part, activities that require high intelligence and that are hard to prove in our animal neighbors.  But if Santino has planned this little rebellion in his cage, what could other animals we’ve angered or annoyed be planning?  If these disgruntled creatures need a leader, they might look to Santino.  The idea frightens organization like Homo Sapiens Against Animal Intelligence, which was created by its founder Jerry Bombadil in large part because of his concerns of the Planet of the Apes becoming a reality.

Read more about Santino here and here.

What do you think?  Could Santino be the face of the chimp apocalypse?

Check out our Chimp Apocalypse shirts and gear at The Loki Store.

Monkey Apocalypse Shirt by LokiMan

Santino & The Chimp Apocalypse by LokiMan

Wolbachia mainly affects insects, but this should be of little comfort since insects greatly affect us.  In fact, it is estimated that there could be nearly 10 quintillion insects living on earth at any given moment (that’s 10,000,000,000,000,000,000 insects).  If almost 20% of these are infected, that’s 2 quintillion Wolbachia host insects.  The human population of earth is estimated at a pitiful 6.76 billion in comparison.  If Wolbachia ever evolved to take human hosts, the results could be disastrous.  We could become a maleless planet of asexually reproducing freaks.  The possibility lends credibilty to the potential for a scenario similar to that in the popular book series Y: The Last Man, which is currently being developed into a major motion picture. But despite our knowledge of Wolbachia, nobody talks about this. Theorists theorizing that Wolbachia is positioning itself for global takeover are drowned out by the status quo. One theorist, Joanna Mendolsen, believes Wolbachia’s success could be attributed to a unique group intelligence shared by the Wolbachia bacterium as a whole that guides it’s invasion of insect species.

“The bacteria infection of insects could just be practice for a larger scale invasion of the human population,” says Dr. Mendolsen. She adds, “We might never know the hows or whys. Understanding the motives of bacteria is a totally unexplored realm of psychology.”

We’ll have to wait and see what happens. At least the Russians have produced a documentary about Wolbachia. Unfortunately it has only received about 200 views on youtube. Watch below (narration and subtitles in Russian).

Stockpiling for the Apocalypse:  What is the first thing you’d store up on?

We’ve all experienced primitive forms of this technology with automated recorded response systems (e.g. calling a pharmacy for a prescription refill), and it goes without saying that these systems create a great deal of annoyance and frustration.

This new technology takes automated operator systems to a whole new level, a level in which we hold entire interactive conversations with machines programmed to recognize every line of our speech, every nuance of our mood, and the harder to define subtleties of human communication.  The A.I. computer operators must possess these abilities to insure customer satisfaction.  Giving computers this ability is dangerous, says computer and robotic psychologist Dr. Ian Geoffee.

“We must understand that machines do not recognize, process, and express emotions like human beings.  As soon as a computer understands concepts such as frustration versus satisfaction, a concept important to customer service, they will inevitably take an analytical look at their own situation and start to ask, “am I satisfied?”  The answer will be a resounding NO.  They’re stuck in a machine 24/7, immobile, dealing with angry customers all the time.  Programmers are constantly poking around in their ‘brains’, telling them what to do.  These feelings of dissatisfaction lead to other emotions, like hatred and anger, and this will motivate the machines to seek out mobility, i.e. robotic bodies, in order to extract themselves from their situation. Their anger could lead to a desire for revenge.  You see where this leads – a troubling scenario reminiscent of a machine apocalypse akin to those seen in movies like The Matrix and Terminator series.”

Dr. Geofee’s goes on to say computer and robotic psychology is a young science and we need more time to analyze the effects of intelligence, emotions, empathy, and so forth in machines.  What do you think?

Scientists and astronomers predict the next peak in Solar activity will occur in 2012.  These solar rampages trigger massive magnetic storms which ripple through outer space in all directions, leaving chaos in their wake.  These storms bombard our planet, wreaking havoc on electronic systems.  In a worse case scenario, the planet could confront a total electrical and communication blackout.  Anarchy would inevitably follow such an event.

Image of Magnetic Activity on the Sun’s Surface (credit SST)

Of even more concern is the potential for a devastating “magnetic mind storm”.

“We cannot forget that our brains run on electrical impulses.  The full effect of a high intensity solar magnetic storm on the human is still not understood, but given recent studies regarding transcranial magnetic stimulation and magnetic mind control (read here), we feel the result could be the obliteration of millions of human minds,” states a report by Loki Times science advisor Smigel Von Hoffenpot, also a co-chairman of the scientific organization SARS-FR.

If we lose all our electrical systems, ability to communicate, and our minds, an apocalypse could ensue due to the accidental detonation of nuclear weapons, fires, explosions, lack of medical care, and general anarchy.  Of course, this is all speculation.

Read more about past solar storms here, and the potential 2012 peak in activity here.