The brief synopsis of the mysterious Tunguska Event is that on June 30, 1908, a massive explosion occured above a remote region of Siberia, leveling over 80 million trees across a hundred square mile area.  The explosion is estimated to have been equivelant to several A-Bombs.  The catalyst for the explosion remains a big unknown.  Read more here.

Dr. Labvin, president of the Tunguska Spatial Phenomenon Foundation, says he has evidence that the explosion was caused by an alien spacecraft colliding with a massive meteor on a collision course with earth.  By exploding the massive meteor before it crashed into our planet, Dr. Labvin says the aliens saved humanity.

Dr. Labvin’s evidence is several quartz slabs discovered at the site of the explosion which are engraved with strange symbols.  According to Dr. Labvin, we do not possess the technology to create the intricate geometric shapes carved on the quartz slabs.  Tests with lasers were unsuccessful at duplicating the designs.  He claims the slabs are debris from the alien spaceship, possibly part of the ship’s navigation controls.

Are these alien navigation controls?

We should all take a moment to think of the brave alien astronauts who saved our planet on that fateful day in 1908.  We don’t know about you, but we feel safer knowing extraterrestrial intelligences are looking out for us.  Read more here.

What do you think?

1. High Energy Liquid Laser Area Defense System – You heard it here.  These are small high power laser weapons, i.e. weapons that shoot energy beams at the speed of light.  That’s fast.
2. High Productivity Computing Systems – a.k.a. Super computers a.k.a. SKYNET from the Terminator mythos.
3. Machine Learning – Cognitive machines.  Hmmm.  Again, we’ll reference SKYNET and Terminator.
4. Neuroscience – In specific, projects that’ll create brain-machine interfaces.  Is this putting us one step closer to The Matrix?
5. Real-Time Accurate Language Translation – Tower of Babel my ass.
6. Space – , here we come.

Scary, but real, stuff.  You can find the full report here.

Which one of these research projects would you most like to see come to fruition?

If there is alien life on Everest, do we really want to find it? Anything tough enough to survive in the harsh environment of Mt. Everest could be a serious threat to mankind. To illustrate this point, here are two stories that clearly portray the dangers of searching for alien life in the frozen and hostile climates of Earth.

Story #1 is H.P. Lovecraft’s At The Mountains of Madness, the terrifying story of a scientific expedition to the arctic that discovers the ruins of a vast alien civilization and the preserved remains of highly evolved creatures that aren’t as dead as they appear.

Story #2 is John Carpenter’s The Thing, which recounts another arctic expedition’s encounter with a deadly alien organism that’d been frozen under the ice for hundreds of thousands of years.

If you don’t knkow these stories, we highly recommend you familiarize yourself with them. They are a clear warning against the current exploration for alien life on Mt. Everest.

Here’s the trailer for The Thing.

J.J. Abram’s Star Trek features a Hitchcockian macguffin like few we’ve ever seen before.  It’s a mysterious substance referred to as ‘red batter’ by the film’s villain, Romulan Captain Nero.  Now, there is some debate right now over whether Nero called it ‘red batter’ OR ‘red matter’, but for the sake of giving this amazing substance more identity, we’re calling it ‘red batter’.

‘Red batter’ has the ability to reduce itself and matter around it into a singularity at a rapid, exponential rate.  As a bomb explodes on impact, ‘red batter’ gravitationally sucks in everything around it on impact.  The end result is that most awesome of interstellar objects, the fearsome black hole.

In J.J. Abram’s Star Trek, Captain Nero uses the ‘red batter’ (or ‘red matter’) to create a black hole in the center of Spock’s home world Vulcan.  This black hole devours the planet in a matter of minutes in a sequence that is, in our opinion, much more terrifying than Star War’s Death Star’s planet destroying laser beam could ever be.

Besides creating black holes, the ‘red batter’ can also affect time travel.  If you’ve seen the new Star Trek, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Could such a matter exist in reality?  Perhaps.  A recent study, which you can read more about here, suggests that all particles are miniature black holes.  IF this is the case, than it is probable that there is a catalyst which would enable these miniature black holes, which are everything, to coalesce together at an exponential rate to create a rapidly growing black hole that devours everything in its path.

Could the Large Hadron Collider be a catalyst for such a reaction?  If so, what sort of defenses have we put in place?

And did Captain Nero say ‘red batter’ or ‘red batter’?  Personally, we think ‘red batter has a nicer ring to it.  What do you think?

The video says it all. What’s next? Can you imagine a world full of glow in the dark humans?

Some say this could be a solution for the energy crisis and global warming.

“If humans glowed in the dark, they wouldn’t need lights. Lights in our homes, cities, et cetera eat up a tremendous amount of energy,” says Physicist Peter Pablano. “Glow in the dark powers could save the climate, since the reduction in energy consumption would lead to a massive reduction in carbon emissions.”

What do you think? Should the Obama administration push forward with a policy of genetically engineering the American populace to glow in the dark as part of their energy policy?

The report explores mankind’s complex relationship with the millions of microbes living inside us. New research shows that we are nothing without these little critters running around our intestines, hearts, and brains.  The findings are significant enough that the International Human Microbiome Consortium came into being in October.  Their goal will be to further characterize and understand our microbial allies and enemies.

Bacterial Microbes Living Inside Our Bodies (NIH)

According to psychologists, the new importance placed on the ecosystems within our bodies could damage our sense of self.

“Are we unique singular beings?  Or simply communities of organisms working together, producing the illusion of an individual?  Are we really in control, or is a crew of microbes inside our body piloting us along for their own needs?  These are the sort of psyche shattering questions this science raises,” says Dr. Caroline McDeegalan, a psychologist working for the Fragile Egos & Humans Consortium.

When these concepts are combined with studies proving bacteria are smarter than we thought (read here), a scary picture of reality begins to open before us.  The idea of ‘self’ could be replaced by the idea of ‘we’ – the ‘we’ being us and the millions of bacteria living in our bodies. Who’s in control?

What do you think?  Are we humans?  Or are we eco-systems?

Read our article Bacteria With Brains and the Mysterious Death of Pirates.

In short, scientists genetically engineered viruses to mimic the properties of the positively and negatively charged ends of a battery through which power flows.  These new virus built batteries allegedly have the same power capacity and performance of as cutting edge batteries developed to power things like electric cars.

But many are skeptical of depending on viruses for one of our most valuable commodities, energy.  Anti-Viral Anything (AVA) president Vlad Soresh had the following to say: “Given the history of our relationship with viruses, can we really depend on them for our energy?  I think they’ve proven time and time again that they want to cause nothing but harm to mankind.”

Despite criticisms like those, the genetically engineered technology is a major breakthrough in battery research.

What do you think?  Can we trust viruses to supply us with energy?

Santino the Chimp

His name is Santino and he lives at the Swedish Furuvik Zoo.  Santino likes throwing things at the zoo visitors that gawk at him everyday, and his keepers do eveything they can to stop the violent behavior.  But recently, the zoo staff discovered stockpiles of ammunition (mostly rocks) all over Santino’s enclosure, as if he were preparing for battle.  The discovery has excited researchers studying animal intelligence since it suggests premeditation and forward thinking on Santino’s part, activities that require high intelligence and that are hard to prove in our animal neighbors.  But if Santino has planned this little rebellion in his cage, what could other animals we’ve angered or annoyed be planning?  If these disgruntled creatures need a leader, they might look to Santino.  The idea frightens organization like Homo Sapiens Against Animal Intelligence, which was created by its founder Jerry Bombadil in large part because of his concerns of the Planet of the Apes becoming a reality.

Read more about Santino here and here.

What do you think?  Could Santino be the face of the chimp apocalypse?

Check out our Chimp Apocalypse shirts and gear at The Loki Store.

Monkey Apocalypse Shirt by LokiMan

Santino & The Chimp Apocalypse by LokiMan

“They want you to think they are helping us,” Bombadil stated emphatically. “They want you to think they are doing their domestic duty by preventing osteoporosis, and helping small children grow strong bones. But they’re not! They can’t lie to us anymore! We have found out their true purpose.”

Bombadil spoke at a press conference he quickly organized after the British Society for General Microbiology released findings that one of the leading causes of global warming was the methane gas produced in cow flatulence.

According to the EPA, an estimated 28 percent of all methane emissions related to human activity come from methane-producing bacteria in the rumens of domestic cattle, sheep and goats and other livestock known as ruminants, which eat plants that are mostly indigestible by other creatures.

“All this time, [the cows] have been planning, banding together, and farting for who knows how long,” says Bombadil. “We don’t know how long this is been going on. But, my friends, there may be hope on the horizon.”

According to a new study, fish oil could be the cow fart kryptonite. Feeding cattle a diet of 2 percent fish oil reduced the toots, due to the omega 3 fatty acids in the oil. The technique cut methane output of three cows by 21 percent, said Lorraine Lillis of the University College Dublin.

“The fish oil affects the methane-producing bacteria in the rumen part of the cow’s gut, leading to reduced emissions,” Lillis said. “Understanding which microbial species are particularly influenced by changes in diet and relating them to methane production could bring about a more targeted approach to reducing methane emissions in animals.”

Asked about the overall potential benefits fish-oil, Lillis told LiveScience she didn’t know yet what effect it might have on a larger group of cattle.

Bombadil says his organization HSAAI is in the process of planning a cookie drive to defray the costs of supplying fish oil to the cattle.

“The girlscouts have done it for years,” says Bombadil. “ We applaud them. But now a graver task is at hand.”

Stop The Cow Fart Conspiracy! 2 by LokiMan

Cure Cow Farts, Cure Global Warming by LokiMan