Santino: Chimp Warrior
Filed under: Animal, Animal Intelligence, Biology, Discoveries, Homo Sapiens Against Animal Intelligence, Science, The Apocalypse
Cool video regarding Santino the Chimp. Read our post about him here.
The Face of the Chimp Apocalypse
Filed under: Animal, Animal Intelligence, Biology, Homo Sapiens Against Animal Intelligence, Intelligence, Science Fiction, The Apocalypse, The Future
Is this the face of the chimp apocalypse so chillingly predicted in the classic film Planet of the Apes?
Santino the Chimp
His name is Santino and he lives at the Swedish Furuvik Zoo. Santino likes throwing things at the zoo visitors that gawk at him everyday, and his keepers do eveything they can to stop the violent behavior. But recently, the zoo staff discovered stockpiles of ammunition (mostly rocks) all over Santino’s enclosure, as if he were preparing for battle. The discovery has excited researchers studying animal intelligence since it suggests premeditation and forward thinking on Santino’s part, activities that require high intelligence and that are hard to prove in our animal neighbors. But if Santino has planned this little rebellion in his cage, what could other animals we’ve angered or annoyed be planning? If these disgruntled creatures need a leader, they might look to Santino. The idea frightens organization like Homo Sapiens Against Animal Intelligence, which was created by its founder Jerry Bombadil in large part because of his concerns of the Planet of the Apes becoming a reality.
Read more about Santino here and here.
What do you think? Could Santino be the face of the chimp apocalypse?
Check out our Chimp Apocalypse shirts and gear at The Loki Store.
The Cow Fart Conspiracy
Filed under: Animal Intelligence, Biology, Discoveries, Homo Sapiens Against Animal Intelligence, Science
“Cows. They look so innocent, with their big eyes, and their soft moos, and their swishy tails. Don’t let them fool you.” Jerry Bombadil, founder and president of the extremist group Homo Sapiens Against Animal Intelligence, said at a press conference Monday.
“They want you to think they are helping us,” Bombadil stated emphatically. “They want you to think they are doing their domestic duty by preventing osteoporosis, and helping small children grow strong bones. But they’re not! They can’t lie to us anymore! We have found out their true purpose.”
Bombadil spoke at a press conference he quickly organized after the British Society for General Microbiology released findings that one of the leading causes of global warming was the methane gas produced in cow flatulence.
According to the EPA, an estimated 28 percent of all methane emissions related to human activity come from methane-producing bacteria in the rumens of domestic cattle, sheep and goats and other livestock known as ruminants, which eat plants that are mostly indigestible by other creatures.
“All this time, [the cows] have been planning, banding together, and farting for who knows how long,” says Bombadil. “We don’t know how long this is been going on. But, my friends, there may be hope on the horizon.”
According to a new study, fish oil could be the cow fart kryptonite. Feeding cattle a diet of 2 percent fish oil reduced the toots, due to the omega 3 fatty acids in the oil. The technique cut methane output of three cows by 21 percent, said Lorraine Lillis of the University College Dublin.
“The fish oil affects the methane-producing bacteria in the rumen part of the cow’s gut, leading to reduced emissions,” Lillis said. “Understanding which microbial species are particularly influenced by changes in diet and relating them to methane production could bring about a more targeted approach to reducing methane emissions in animals.”
Asked about the overall potential benefits fish-oil, Lillis told LiveScience she didn’t know yet what effect it might have on a larger group of cattle.
Bombadil says his organization HSAAI is in the process of planning a cookie drive to defray the costs of supplying fish oil to the cattle.
“The girlscouts have done it for years,” says Bombadil. “ We applaud them. But now a graver task is at hand.”
Intelligent Monkey GPS
Filed under: Animal Intelligence, Biology, Homo Sapiens Against Animal Intelligence, Science, Science Fiction, The Future
A recent study by researchers based at the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology in Leipzig reveals that monkey’s have an unbelievable internal GPS system that allows them to navigate flawlessly across maze-like jungle paths. Read about the study here, at New Scientist.
As many of you know, we’ve been covering intelligent monkey news at The Loki Times ever since we launched our website. In fact, we kicked off our website with this post about Cyborg Monkeys. The subject fascinates our researchers and writers, but terrifies Jerry Bombadil, founder of the extremist group Homo Sapiens Against Animal Intelligence.
Bombadil fears a Planet of the Apes scenario more than anything. This new data about internal monkey GPS systems has shaked him to the core. The following is Bombadil’s response to inquiries from our news team: “Monkey GPS?!?! That’s just great, freakin’ wonderful. Son of a bitch!” *click*
Jerry later called back to apologize, saying “We were worried about the government being able to track our every move, but now we should worry about these monkeys. They can find you…anywhere.”
Let us know what you think. Monkey GPS: Impressive, or Terrifying?
Rat, Cat, and Dog Stand United Against Anti-Animal Group HSAAI
Filed under: Animal Intelligence, Animals For Animal Equality, Homo Sapiens Against Animal Intelligence
In a moving demonstration, three members of the group Animals For Animal Equality (A.F.A.E.), protest together on a public street against the radical group Homo Sapiens Against Animal Intelligence (HSAAI). The A.F.A.E. members are a rat, a cat, and a dog. They stand on top of each other to symbolize their support for one another in the face of an organization that wants to see them remain utterly subservient to human will.
A spokes-animal for A.F.A.E. said the three animals decided to protest because of recent comments from HSAAI criticizing the acceptance of animal art in an international exhibit. Read A.F.A.E.’s official response to said comments here.
When asked about his thoughts on HSAAI, the dog simply responded “Grrrrrrr.” The cat said, “Hisssss”. Need they say more?
Stay tuned to The Loki Times as the feud between A.F.A.E. and HSAAI heats up.