The Cow Fart Conspiracy
Filed under: Animal Intelligence, Biology, Discoveries, Homo Sapiens Against Animal Intelligence, Science
“Cows. They look so innocent, with their big eyes, and their soft moos, and their swishy tails. Don’t let them fool you.” Jerry Bombadil, founder and president of the extremist group Homo Sapiens Against Animal Intelligence, said at a press conference Monday.
“They want you to think they are helping us,” Bombadil stated emphatically. “They want you to think they are doing their domestic duty by preventing osteoporosis, and helping small children grow strong bones. But they’re not! They can’t lie to us anymore! We have found out their true purpose.”
Bombadil spoke at a press conference he quickly organized after the British Society for General Microbiology released findings that one of the leading causes of global warming was the methane gas produced in cow flatulence.
According to the EPA, an estimated 28 percent of all methane emissions related to human activity come from methane-producing bacteria in the rumens of domestic cattle, sheep and goats and other livestock known as ruminants, which eat plants that are mostly indigestible by other creatures.
“All this time, [the cows] have been planning, banding together, and farting for who knows how long,” says Bombadil. “We don’t know how long this is been going on. But, my friends, there may be hope on the horizon.”
According to a new study, fish oil could be the cow fart kryptonite. Feeding cattle a diet of 2 percent fish oil reduced the toots, due to the omega 3 fatty acids in the oil. The technique cut methane output of three cows by 21 percent, said Lorraine Lillis of the University College Dublin.
“The fish oil affects the methane-producing bacteria in the rumen part of the cow’s gut, leading to reduced emissions,” Lillis said. “Understanding which microbial species are particularly influenced by changes in diet and relating them to methane production could bring about a more targeted approach to reducing methane emissions in animals.”
Asked about the overall potential benefits fish-oil, Lillis told LiveScience she didn’t know yet what effect it might have on a larger group of cattle.
Bombadil says his organization HSAAI is in the process of planning a cookie drive to defray the costs of supplying fish oil to the cattle.
“The girlscouts have done it for years,” says Bombadil. “ We applaud them. But now a graver task is at hand.”
Synthetic, Bio-Engineered Humans Just Around The Corner
Filed under: Androids, Anti-Android Research & Development Team, Artificial Intelligence, Biology, Conspiracies, Intelligence, Robot Psychology, Robots, Science, Science Fiction, Technology, The Future
Two recent reports, which you can read here and here, detail advances scientists are making towards regenerating human tissue and building artificial human ‘parts’ that are just as good if not better than the ones nature gave us. The breakthroughs present several extraordinary benefits to mankind, especially amputees and people with degenerative diseases. They also present several frightening scenarios. For instance, imagine a world where you cannot tell the difference between a human who was born naturally, and one who was built.
Speculative fiction authours, like the great Philip K. Dick, have envisioned such scenarios, and for the most part the outcomes are not good (see Blade Runner, based on the novel Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?).
Granted, there are those among us who believe that synthetic humans already walk among us, serving the nefarious purposes of their creators. Some have speculated that the Illuminati employ several androids who have risen to places of high power. These “human” puppets insulate them from the vast criminal conspiracies they are carrying out. One theorist believes that Bernard Madoff, now infamous for his multi-billion dollar investment fraud that’s ruined thousands of lives, is a synthetic human.
“The problem with these synthetic humans is that the technology is getting to a place where it is next to impossible to differentiate them from a real human,” says Boyd Theodred, a member of A.A.R.D.T., the Anti-Android Research & Development Team. “We aren’t being given the tools we need to weed out these imposters. And trust us, their intentions are not good. We have intel that new android research will give these phonies superhuman abilities. We need to stop this before it starts.”
Many are skeptical of A.A.R.D.T.’s claims. The group is widely regarded as a bunch of loonies. Nonetheless, the research we linked to above is real.
What do you think? Synthetic humans – dangerous or full of potential?
Check out the human machine t-shirts at the Loki Store.
The Wolbachia Bacteria Invasion Remains Ignored
Filed under: Bacteria Intelligence, Bacterial Invasion, Biology, Conspiracies, Intelligence, Science, Science Fiction, The Apocalypse, The Future
The bacteria Wolbachia is widely regarded as the most succesful intracelluar bacteria in the world, and it is also one of the most common. Projections estimate that Wolbachia might live in almost a fifth of the world’s total insect population. Wolbachia cause several frightening symptoms in their victims, especially males. These symptoms include feminization (the alteration of a male into a female), asexual reproduction in female hosts, male sexual sterilization, and death. However, we still understand very little about the manner in which Wolbachia causes these symptoms, or how it is so successful as a reproductive parasite. This is highlighted by recent research presented University of California and Universite Lyon researchers at the Public Library of Science. Read their report here.
Wolbachia mainly affects insects, but this should be of little comfort since insects greatly affect us. In fact, it is estimated that there could be nearly 10 quintillion insects living on earth at any given moment (that’s 10,000,000,000,000,000,000 insects). If almost 20% of these are infected, that’s 2 quintillion Wolbachia host insects. The human population of earth is estimated at a pitiful 6.76 billion in comparison. If Wolbachia ever evolved to take human hosts, the results could be disastrous. We could become a maleless planet of asexually reproducing freaks. The possibility lends credibilty to the potential for a scenario similar to that in the popular book series Y: The Last Man, which is currently being developed into a major motion picture. But despite our knowledge of Wolbachia, nobody talks about this. Theorists theorizing that Wolbachia is positioning itself for global takeover are drowned out by the status quo. One theorist, Joanna Mendolsen, believes Wolbachia’s success could be attributed to a unique group intelligence shared by the Wolbachia bacterium as a whole that guides it’s invasion of insect species.
“The bacteria infection of insects could just be practice for a larger scale invasion of the human population,” says Dr. Mendolsen. She adds, “We might never know the hows or whys. Understanding the motives of bacteria is a totally unexplored realm of psychology.”
We’ll have to wait and see what happens. At least the Russians have produced a documentary about Wolbachia. Unfortunately it has only received about 200 views on youtube. Watch below (narration and subtitles in Russian).
Do Our Brains Want Us To Screw Up?
Filed under: Biology, Conspiracies, Discoveries, Human Intelligence, Paradoxes, Science
Over the course of history, human beings have displayed an alarming trend of stupidity. Human history is riddled with idiotic behavior, and if you read the news you’ll see that not much has changed. Look at The Madoff Scandal and just about everything else regarding the current economic crisis. A big reason we’re in this mess is because people were paying tons of money for worthless investment derivatives, an act that’d be similar to paying some random person off the street for air they’ve cupped in their hands.
duhhhh……..durrr……..
A recent study on brainwave patterns might shed some light on the reason for all this idiocy. According to this article at Physorg.com, our brains ‘know’ when we’re about to make mistakes, but do next to nothing to stop us from making said mistake. Why wouldn’t our brains warn us? What does this mean? Could it be that our brains want us to mess up? Are we hardwired to make mistakes?
Dr. Bernie Makadou has been saying this for years. When called to comment for this article, Dr. Makadou said, “We don’t own our brains, they own us. And they want us to fail. Who is us, separate from the brain you might ask? That’s a good question. We’re still working on finding the answer.”
If we can’t trust our brains, who can we trust?
Wormholes: The New Way To Travel?
Filed under: Alien Intelligence, Alien Invasion, Aliens, Alternate Dimensions, Astronomy, Discoveries, Human Intelligence, Science, Science Fiction, Shadow People, Technology, The Future, UFO's, Unidentified Boating Objects, Unidentified Submerged Objects, Wormholes
The formula above is just a portion of the equations Dr. Peter Kuhfittig of the University of Wisconsin is using to prove that we could produce transversable wormholes. His paper, which can be read here, opens with this definition for wormholes: “Wormholes may be defined as handles or tunnels in the spacetime topology linking widely separated regions of our Universe or of different universes altogether.”
The paper is a major step forward in human wormhole creation and travel. The possibilities of wormhole travel are endless, but while many of the outcomes could be favorable to mankind, there are also a plethora of risks.
Dramatization of wormhole travel.
The Loki Times has covered UFO activity, trans-dimensional events, and Shadow People for sometime and it appears clear to us and other experts that wormholes are already being used by non-human intelligences to travel vast distances and to jump between different dimensions. By producing our own wormholes, we might invite unwanted visitors into our world. If you haven’t seen or read The Mist, we strongly recommend you do to get a glimpse of one such possibility.
Nonetheless, the benefits of mastering wormhole travel more than likely outweigh the risks, especially considering the alarming rate at which Earth’s population is growing while its resources shrink. Wormhole travel will give us the opportunity to cultivate new human worlds and resources that could save us from our current crises.
Stay tuned to The Loki Times for continued coverage of wormhole news.