Bacteria With Brains And The Mysterious Death Of Pirates
Filed under: Animal Intelligence, Conspiracies, Homo Sapiens Against Animal Intelligence, Science, Unidentified Boating Objects
In September, a band of Somali pirates hijacked an Iranian cargo ship only to be plagued by a mysterious illness stemming from something in the ship’s cargo. During hostage negotiations, several of the pirates died of the illness. There have only been vague reports about the ship’s mysterious cargo, including that it was carrying “minerals” and “chemicals”. But what sort of minerals and chemicals? We simply don’t know.
Then, in October, a report lands on the desk of The Loki Times in which scientists say they can teach bacteria certain behaviors.
Smart bacteria and a mysterious illness who’s source appears to be a suspicious cargo ship. The activist group Homo Sapiens Against Animal Intelligence (HSAAI) say this is not a coincidence. They believe that the deadly illness could have come from smart bacteria who were protecting the ship the pirates hijacked. Jerry Bombadil, leader of HSAAI, said the following:
“HSAAI cannot fathom the fact that some of the world’s smallest animals, bacteria that is, are being trained by scientists. This must stop! We’re talking about animals that can slither through the pores of your skin. If they became truly intelligent, there is no telling what they might do. Some of our experts think bacteria could even learn how to control our brains. Can you imagine, smart bacteria taking over the mind of the President?!?! The new report, accompanied with information of the mysterious cargo ship, disturbs us greatly.”
We have not been able to substantiate any of the claims made by HSAAI. We are also not sure where the cargo ship had been, or what it was carrying. We have received several reports about mysterious unidentified cargo ships being spotted on the high seas all over the world. Stay tuned to The Loki Times as we develop the story on UBO’s (Unidentified Boating Objects)
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